John Maxwell and The Leadership Handbook
Leadership? What is it? Where can I get it? And do they carry it at BigBox Mart? I will tell you from past experience, leadership is the manifestation and ultimate example of influence. But influence by itself is not the golden ticket to the front row. Leadership is required to use influence as a tool. John Maxwell talked about this in The Leadership Handbook. The topic I want to talk about is developing your influence so your leadership skills can flourish. Maxwell says not to give your influence away. Fair enough. How do we keep from giving it away? Remembering years ago someone told me that if I helped enough people get what they want, I would easily get what I want. I never really pondered this saying too much until we read Maxwell’s book as part of our Fellows work. But the chapter on influence brought back the thoughts of helping enough people and all that jazz. It then occurred to me in a rare but welcome moment of clarity. Helping someone is assistance. It is a nudge, a push, a bit of oomph to move things along. Maxwell remarked that when you GIVE your influence away, people will take advantage. But it is not them taking advantage of you that is damaging. It is the fact they never develop their own influence. The point I think he is trying to make is that if we always rely on someone else to open a door, or make a call, we will become dependent on that grace and never grow. I cannot help but go back to the idea of the relationship building. As I grow my network, I am discovering I have several networks with people of all trades and skills. Some are interrelated and some are not. They all have one thing in common…..ME! What if this idea of networking, relationships, influence, LEADERSHIP, could all be tied together into a very useful skillset? Well it can and is. I have developed relationships with many groups and demographics over the years. And one useful thing I have learned is that people in one group may need the services of someone in another group. The problem is they may not know the other group exists. This is where you can confidently say “I know a guy”…..
Building these relationships based on influence both personal and professional, can be an incredibly powerful tool. It can also be perilous if not used correctly. I think the thing I gleaned from the Maxwell book more than anything, was the idea of discovering how YOU can influence someone. Once you influence them, you are then responsible for using leadership skills to get them moving in your direction. I was told by a fellow soldier that this was tantamount to manipulation. I kindly told him I understood how it could be viewed that way. I told him in a very supportive tone that we all have a part to play and told him a story from my childhood about one of my coaches. Coach was that guy who was perfectly willing to let you make a bad decision and learn from it. He would always say something like “I wouldn’t do that”. Once the learning had occurred, a respect grew for his insistence of allowing our independence as well as our growth. These mini lessons of life 45 minutes at a time were very valuable. Coach gained our respect, then became an influence because we trusted him. That influence led us to follow his coaching to many wins. In the end the coach did not manipulate us. He simply put us in the position to make a decision. Quite often those decisions were us realizing the coach may be who we need to be following. My soldier was allowed some mistakes in leading his soldiers. In the end, I never criticized or belittled him. I used constructive positive reinforcement to tell him what he did correctly and with a minor change here and there, the other things would fall in line as well. I never used the word “but” and instead used the word “and”. After some months of work, I became an influence in the soldier’s life and eventually he made the decisions needed to become the leader he needed to be. Did I manipulate him? Not at all. I simply showed him a path. A path where I found success. Upon his own inquiry and experience, he decided to follow a very similar path. These days this soldier is one of my most trusted friends. He has developed a network that differs from mine. And now when I ask him for assistance his standard answer is “I know a guy”.
This is not a product of BigBox Mart. It is a product of sound advice, intense research and a genuine desire to be effective to all those you come into contact with. It is used in the hope of forging mutually beneficial relationships, and in my case, across many fields of skill. It is never complete and it is always shifting. It is also labor intensive. But to me it is worth every effort out forth.
The Maxwell book it a must read for anyone who wants to improve leadership skills and become more effective. It is not easy, nor the golden pill. It is merely a set of principles one reads and choses or not choses to use in their daily walk.
I hope you choose to read this book and I hope you get as much from it as I have.
Tommy Hamilton
2017 Business Education Fellow