Winning with People

 What’s more important, the technical skills or soft skills?  That’s the discussion we have when training career-tech students and also sending them out into the workforce, but maybe one of the most important keys to success is being able to create great relationships.  That’s what John Maxwell focuses in his award winning book, “Winning With People.”

Maxwell focuses his insights around five questions with multiple principles for each lesson.  The first theme is, “Are we prepared for relationships?”  A lot of times when we think about lasting relationships, we focus on other people, but really the first focus should be on ourselves…are we ready?  In order to build lasting relationships with others, we must first look inside ourselves.  He discusses four principles which all focus on looking inside ourselves before reaching out to others to build relationships.  We see this in schools and in our careers and lives outside of work.  We must first examine who we are. 

“Are we willing to focus on others?”  That’s his second question.  The connection we have with others is so important, but do we take the time to learn from others and allow them to teach us lessons?  Are we able to put ourselves in their place?  Maxwell encourages us to then focus on others after we have looked inside ourselves. 

Do I trust you?  “Can we build mutual trust?”  Isn’t that the underlying question and foundation for all relationships?  We see this even with our students in the classroom…they have to be able to trust in order to learn.  Trust is really the foundation of any relationship.  Maxwell encourages us to reflect on this in our careers and personal lives. 

“Are we willing to invest in others?”  Maxwell suggests that all relationships need cultivation and patience.  As I reflected on this, I thought about all of the different relationships I have had throughout my career and in my life outside of work.  He introduces the “high road principle…We go to a higher level when we treat others better than they treat us.”  If we all focused on that principle in our professional and personal lives, wouldn’t the world be a better place?

His final insight was about synergy….can relationships be win-win.  One of the principles he introduces is, “the boomerang principle”…When we help others, we help ourselves.  As I reflected, this truly is the case.  How many times have you helped someone and either learned something new by doing so or just felt better in your everyday life from doing so? 

All of Maxwell’s insights and principles are valuable in my professional life and life outside of work.  It truly does start with relationship building.  You can have all of the right skills in life, but if you can’t build relationships, you won’t be successful.